Chelsea's YouTube lot treated Super Sunday as a home fixture. By kick-off the directory was Stamford Bridge watchalongs: GBFC, MAH, Younes Talks Chelsea, DrogBABA, The Other Side Of The Coin. Xabi Alonso's second league game. Emiliano Martínez's first. Enzo Fernández left out again. Two hours later it was 4-3, Caicedo was down the tunnel covering his eyes, and the left side of the pitch was a medical emergency.
GBFC was the biggest room. George Benson sat through the seven-goal mess and retitled it Chelsea 4-3 Brighton. The stream is the record: three hours, a six-figure live, the same beats as everyone else. Lavia. Neto. Pedro. The collapse. Palmer. Gross in the sixth minute of stoppage time.
Younes Talks Chelsea is the one with tape. Martínez in the gloves and he would not shut up about it. "We have a goalkeeper. Beautiful." Then Lavia, four minutes, Verbruggen spilling Pedro's header. "One nil Chelsea. Have some of that. Great header from Pedro. Keeper fumbles it. Lavia on the rebound taps it in." Neto made it two off Rogers. "Beautiful. Look at this goal. Great flick into Morgan Rogers. Pedro Neto took advantage. Wonderfully." Alonso on the touchline: "Go on, Jabi. Yes. Well done. 14 minutes in, 2-0 against Brighton."
Pedro then missed a sitter. "How the hell did he miss that? Yo, Pedro, what? That's a mad miss." He scored anyway, 32 minutes, Rogers again, and Younes called the game. "Hat. Boom. Pedro. Boom. Game set and match. Brighton. Order has been restored after 4 years." He also said the line the rest of the afternoon is arguing. "Look at Jabi Alonso, man. Oh my god. We might actually have a manager, you know."
Brighton scored 30 seconds later. Malick Yalcouyé, off the woodwork. Younes still liked the hit. "Oh my god, what a goal. Martinez has made the save and that rebound. He whacked it posted in. What a hit that was." After the break Gross's shot came off Pedro. "Oh crap, it's 3-2. That technically counts as a Pedro own goal cuz he deflected it into his net. Pedro own goal against Brighton. That doesn't look nice, does it?" Alonso emptied the bench. Caicedo, Reece James, Andrey Santos. "When it's time to actually get things done, he doesn't hesitate."
Palmer then did Palmer. "Cole Palmer said, hold my H2O again, guys. Here's how it's done. J Pedro with the assist though. Beautiful finish. Straight into the corner." Game, set and match, again. It was not. Caicedo had been on minutes. "Kaisedo is injured. He's just come on. He's covering his eyes. Oh no. This could be bad." Gross headed the last one, unmarked, 90+6. "4-3. Defensively, this is a madness, isn't it? That left hand side needs major heart surgery. Going forward, we look fantastic. If we play like this against Arsenal, we are cooked."
MAH ran the other big English room. Matisse retitled it 4-3 as well. He was the sceptic on Martinez two nights ago. He still sat through the debut.
DrogBABA did it in Hindi for the same 4-3. Same match, different room.
The Other Side Of The Coin stayed up longest, three and a half hours, and put 4-3 in the title once it was over.
What they agree on: the attack is a different side under Alonso, Martínez looks like a goalkeeper, and 4-3 was three points they would have dropped last season. What they do not agree on is whether the left side survives Arsenal, or whether Caicedo is a bruise or a window problem. Enzo was not in the squad. Alonso told Sky they are preparing for every scenario before Tuesday. That is not a City deal.