Twelve-thirty on a Saturday on Merseyside, five yellow cards before half-time, and a Chelsea side that hadn't kept a Premier League clean sheet since January. By half past one the stat was gone. Pedro Neto scored 43 seconds after the restart and again in the 90th minute, Chelsea won 2-0 at the Hill Dickinson Stadium, and Everton lost a league game for the first time this season. The afternoon had a darker middle too. Emi Martinez was stretchered off after a collision with Jarrad Branthwaite and taken to hospital for tests, and Mike Penders came on for his Premier League debut. Before any of that, Morgan Rogers, already booked, stayed on after a challenge on James Garner that Mike Dean, on Sky Sports, called a straight red. VAR let it stand. So the Chelsea rooms got their clean sheet, the Everton rooms got their grievance, and everybody got a long wait in added time.
"We finally have a clean sheet"
GBFC went straight for the stat that had been hanging round the club's neck. "Chelsea fans, can you believe it? We finally have a clean sheet." It's a quick one, and the best bit is the half-time nerves. With Paul Tierney handing out yellows and Everton "leaving a little bit extra on tackles", the room was bracing for the red card that never came.
Then the second half started and it was over before anyone had sat down. GBFC wants to know "what's in the Jaffa cakes" at half-time, because Chelsea keep scoring straight after the break. The club's own report says that's three goals in the opening minute of a half already this season, so the joke has some numbers behind it. GBFC's verdict: "a statement win" for Xabi Alonso's Chelsea.
A professional job, and finally a 12:30 to enjoy
DonCFC is the longer, angrier and happier version. Twenty-odd league games without a clean sheet is "unacceptable", and getting the first one at a ground Chelsea fans dread is the cherry on top. "Everton away, usually we lose, bro, or we draw." Sky Sports has it as Chelsea's first win at Everton since August 2022, so he isn't exaggerating much.
The interesting part is that he isn't just cheering. He's happy with the shape, with Josh Acheampong locking Jack Grealish up despite an early yellow, and with Cole Palmer dropping deep to run the game instead of "hiding in those little pockets". He's also fair about the bits that weren't great. Rogers was "rubbish" in the first half before improving after it, and Palmer should have slid Rogers through instead of playing it behind João Pedro. He even backs Alonso for making no early changes because the Martinez stoppage killed the game's rhythm. "Probably our best performance of the season so far," he says, and that's a big call a week after 5-1.
Respect Pedro Neto
HarryCFXI wants one thing on the record. Neto, whose brace is his first in the Premier League, is "far better than a lot of people" in the Chelsea fanbase want to admit. "Just to remind you, you support Chelsea. The whole team is frustrating." It's a fair point, and it's a funny way of defending your man of the match.
The channel likes that Chelsea won comfortably with no goal or assist from Rogers, João Pedro or Palmer. It's kind to Penders too: "chomping at the bit", and he got through 11 minutes of added time on his debut. It's less kind to Tierney. It wanted a penalty for a foul on Rogers and reckons Garner was lucky to stay on. But give it credit. It also admits Palmer's late challenge on the stroke of full time meant "he should have been sent off for a second yellow". Not many fan channels concede one against their own side.
The Martinez worry
TalkinChelsea has the question in its title, whether Martinez is out for the season, but the video doesn't pretend to know the answer. It reads out what Alonso said after the game: Martinez left the stadium conscious and is in hospital doing tests, "this is what I know so far". Then it says what plenty of people watching were thinking. "When you see someone go down and stay pretty still for that amount of time … it's very worrying."
Everything after that is the channel guessing, and it says so. Best case is concussion and a couple of games out. Worst case, it fears it won't see him "this side of Christmas". There is no official word on how long he'll be out, so take that as one fan's guess. The football bit is warmer. The channel calls Penders "very, very composed" and likes the 4-4-2 shape Chelsea dropped into without the ball. It also says Petr Čech had marked 20 years since his own head injury earlier this week, which is a bit eerie.
"They didn't have to get out of second gear"
Over at the Everton end, ToffeeTV filmed its South Stand reaction and didn't hold back. "Absolutely shocking performance … cowardly, gutless." Its point isn't that Chelsea were better, although it admits they were. It's that Everton didn't try to win at home. "They didn't have to get out of second gear to beat us."
After that it's a list of complaints about David Moyes's selection and subs. The channel wonders why Tyrique George doesn't start, can't believe Tyler Dibling didn't get on, and calls the substitutions "horrendous". It reckons Jordan Pickford should have done better with the opener, and Sky Sports' match report says the same. It also takes a swipe at the unbeaten run. "We've played nobody." So the first defeat of the season isn't a shock to this room. It's the moment it has been warning about.
Up at 4:30 for this
The Toffee Blues gets the prize for dedication. "I can't believe I got up at 4:30 to watch that." It counts "4 million yellow cards and two Pedro Neto goals" and accuses Chelsea of "a lot of diving". Then, unusually, it says the officiating was "pretty good, all things considered".
It's calmer than the South Stand. Ainsley Maitland-Niles had "a particularly poor defensive performance", James Tarkowski did all right, and the channel hopes Branthwaite came out of the Martinez clash without a head injury too. With Arsenal next, its line is that this was "not the worst match to lose". It's a gentler view than ToffeeTV's, and you can hear the sleep deprivation.
The argument
The Chelsea rooms think they finally saw Alonso's team. It was compact, a bit nasty when it needed to be, and good enough to win a grim away game without a goal or assist from their three big attackers. The Everton rooms think they saw a home side play for a 0-0 against a team that barely got out of second gear. Both can be right. That's what Spurs next is for. If Chelsea keep another clean sheet, with Penders or Martinez in goal, the Chelsea rooms will call it a proper defence. If they don't, Everton's toothless second half gets the credit for this one.
More from the rooms: Chelsea fan YouTubers and Everton fan YouTubers.